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Telltale Presents: You Won’t Get What You Want

December 16, 2021 @ 7:00 pm - 9:00 pm

Free – $10
View Venue Website, 4107 SE Harrison St, Milwaukie, OR 97222 + Google Map

Hey, champ! Thanks for checking out Telltale. We are a monthly curated storytelling event for people that like to get vulnerable and take no shit. We are keen on connection, laughter, heartbreak, poignant moments, and community building. We are in our fifth season now, which is wild.

After a number of zoom shows, and then a number of outdoor summer shows…. we are officially back inside the Chapel Theatre, with an all vaccinated staff, vaccinated performers, and a vaccine card requirement at the door, as well as many assertive reminders about wearing your mask properly. We are just doing our best with what we have.

At Telltale, you can expect about 8-10 performers sharing something with you, in the way that feels right to them–so there will be a mix of comedy, stories, music, essays, and more. Your evening will likely include honesty, curse words, enthusiasm, resistance, dark humor, connection….and sometimes something unexpected. So please come and remind yourself that the world is bigger than we remembered and that you’re never alone. We are specifically focused on stories from people that can get vulnerable but also take no shit, fierce humans that know how to fight the good fight but also like naps and staying home most nights.

Also–there will be a very good raffle.

This month’s theme is the 4th annual “You Won’t Get What You Want” show because it’s the holidays and we think it’s funny. Performers will use that theme in their story in some way, or will at least be inspired by it somehow. BUT ALSO: because it’s the holidays, there will also be a voluntary gift exchange! So if you’re feeling festive, please bring some sort of wrapped present–something you bought, or made, or found, or want to re-gift, or a letter wishing people a good year, or a mix cd, or anything–put it in the big pile of presents, and then we will all exchange them during intermission! It’ll be fun. Promise.

Location: Chapel Theatre (4107 SE Harrison, Milwaukie–note, not Portland.)
Date: December 16th.
Doors: 6:30.
Showtime: 7pm-9pm-ish.
Tickets: Available at for a suggested donation of $10 but nobody is every turned away for lack of funds.

Capitalism is garbage and we want you there regardless of money. The money from the tickets will be split between paying for renting the venue and paying the performers. (I know it’s a hassle to buy tickets individually, but it helps us with contact tracing!) If you can’t afford to come, please message me and we’ll make it work.

If you are unable to make it to the show in person, we will also be live-streaming it, so you can still participate from New York or Alaska or your bed here in town. Buy a regular ticket and we will send out a zoom link to everyone!

Raffle Money will go towards keeping the show alive–buying merch, buying raffle prizes from local companies, paying for the website, etc.

The space: Telltale has done all our in-person shows at The Chapel Theatre and now that the summer is over, we are back inside the theatre while taking as many precautions as possible. While we feel anxious about it, we also really miss using the actual stage, and lights, and sound system and such. It’ll be nice to be “home” again. That being said, folks are encouraged to move their chairs, wear masks, leave space between parties, bring your own chairs, whatever you need to help make you feel less edgy about these real dumb times we are stuck in.

Bathrooms are all gender-less. There’s one on the main floor that’s accessible, and a number of bathrooms downstairs. There’s a bar on the main floor. run by the venue that takes cash and cards. (Tip your bartender!) There isn’t actual food available, but usually the bar has a few tiny snacks. If you want to bring your own chairs, either for covid reasons or for comfort reasons, you’re welcome to. It would really help us out if you’re able to buy tickets ahead of time because we’ll be asking everybody to fill out contact tracing information upon arrival if you’re buying a ticket at the door.

Also, we have no room for any oppressive garbage. So there’s that.
I think that covers it. I’ll see you there. I think you’re very cool and the event will be better with you there. I miss your damn face.


December 16, 2021
7:00 pm - 9:00 pm
Free – $10
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Chapel Theatre
4107 SE Harrison St
Milwaukie, OR 97222
+ Google Map
View Venue Website


View Organizer Website